Counseling in Katy, TX: People Pleasing- Control Vs Influence
Raise your hand if you have ever worried about pleasing your boss while you were at work? Next, raise your hand if you have ever tried to make sure your significant other, friends, parents, or kids were happy? Now that everyones’ hands are raised, everyone can put them down, and we can talk about people pleasing! You are not alone. Every day, we get out there trying to make people happy, or comfortable, but in reality, we have no control over that; we are only able to influence other people, not control them! Counseling in Katy, TX can help you overcome the feeling that it is your responsibility to keep the people surrounding you happy.
Living up to someone’s expectations of you is difficult because you cannot choose someone’s reaction for them. You cannot make someone happy. You cannot control other people, or their reactions. With some practice, your mind can be trained to understand that you can only be responsible for yourself. Counseling can help you determine what you are able to influence versus what you can control.
Example: A coworker asks you for help with a task.
Things to consider: the desire to help, the amount of available time you have to dedicate to this task, and if you are in a healthy mental space to help someone out.
Things you can control: your decision to help your coworker, and how you relay that decision.
Things you can influence: the coworkers expectations, confidence, as well as your boundaries and relationship with the coworker.
Wanting to make people happy is inherent, but oftentimes, people pleasing can lead to neglecting yourself and your needs because you are too busy helping someone else in an effort to control someone else’s happiness. Understanding the difference between things you can control versus things you can influence will help you determine, and enforce personal boundaries.
Let your coworker know how you are able to help, whether it be physical assistance, support, or advice, influencing their expectations of how you can help.
Positive reinforcement, or words of reassurance can greatly influence your coworkers confidence level for approaching the task.
Explaining where you are able and willing to help versus where you are not will heighten your coworkers' awareness of your time and available energy, influencing a healthy relationship involving clear cut boundaries with you coworker.
The constant pressure of feeling responsible for everyone’s happiness can lead to stress and resentment. It’s important to take care of yourself. By focusing on your well-being, you are able to create stronger, healthier relationships with others. Counseling in Katy, TX can help you overcome people pleasing habits while encouraging a healthier lifestyle approach. Let’s work together, today! Contact me for a free consultation to begin your journey to a happier you.
