Counseling in Katy, TX: The Anger Iceberg

As we all know, very few things in life get to be simple. It would be nice if we all had maps, guides, or literally anything, to explain how to navigate this strange life, but we don’t. One of the more confusing aspects of life is emotions. Emotions are tricky little buggers; they change quickly, they take a LOT of energy, and they can be confusing! Counseling in Katy, TX can be a great starting point to understanding your emotions!

This video provides more information about the anger iceberg.

Among the confusing emotions, anger is right up there at the top of the list. Anger can seem to come out of nowhere, or it can seem to slowly build up over time. Regardless of how quickly or slowly the anger appears, it seems to be all encompassing when it rears its head. When a person’s anger is triggered, there is an underlying emotion that is causing that anger. Let’s take a closer look at anger as a complete emotion, and how to break down that emotion into more manageable bits.

Do you remember learning about icebergs in school (or, when you saw the movie Titanic)? Icebergs look like giant chunks of ice floating on the water, but they are so much more than ice floating on top of the ocean. Icebergs are even bigger under the water than they are on top! 

Think about anger as an iceberg. The tip of the iceberg is popping out of the water. Anger is floating on the surface. The reason you are angry is submerged under the ocean, under the anger. By examining your anger, you can discover what those underlying emotions are that are causing it. By breaking down the blanket emotion of anger, you can work through smaller, more digestible components, coming to a comfortable resolution for those emotions at a faster pace.

Example 1:

Kate gets home from work. When she opens the door, her dog darts out toward the street. Kate angrily yells at her dog to stop.

Under the anger iceberg: Kate is tired from work, and doesn’t have energy to chase after her dog. Kate is scared. Dogs do not understand the concept of needing to look both ways before entering traffic, what if the dog gets hurt?!? Kate feels helpless because she is not going to be quick enough to stop her dog if he gets too close to the street when a car is coming.

Example 2:

Janet overslept and did not leave for work on time. She then got stuck in rush hour traffic on her way. She will be late. A car cuts her off when she has been waiting her turn in line. She angrily honks her horn at the offending car.

Under the anger iceberg: Janet is disappointed that she overslept, punctuality is important to her. She is also disgruntled because she did not sleep well the night before. Janet is nervous about her boss’s response to her being late. 

Anger can be confusing because it seems to overshadow everything, especially in a tense moment. Calming down enough to walk yourself through your anger is an important place to start. If you are having trouble, try these breathing exercises, or check out these coping mechanisms. Once you are ready, look at these underlying emotions with open eyes, allowing yourself to work through your anger. 

Do you need help deciphering these confusing and complicated emotions? Counseling in Katy, TX can help you find your way around this huge iceberg of emotions. Contact me to begin, or further, your journey of understanding your emotions. Allow yourself to grow into the best version of yourself. Let’s work together, today!